Bluejay

 BlueJay

    My first two history channels covered more average history. It took a turn for the worse with Sam O Nella, and well, I've already invaded Poland at this point, so might as well keep going. So, continuing with my trend of giving you all the sweet joy of knowing historical facts you never asked for or wanted, I bring you Bluejay. Hopefully, he is less likely to put me on a watch list compared to Sam from the last blog. Blue is a very wacky person who inserts himself in the pictures, drawings, and small animations he does with a stock image of a Blue Jay. With his lively, energetic voice, which keeps an ADHD brain like mine quite stimulated and more focused. As for humor, he makes a variety of jokes but always keeps that energetic voice. He also likes putting a character who knows little into the story, giving it a more engaging and funny experience. 

Historical Slang

    So, since this is an English class, I thought Historical Slang would be perfect for this. Strange slang isn't just limited to Gen Alpha, unfortunately. But instead of Rizzler or gyat or whatever else they get from our AI overlords or middle-aged Minecraft or Fortnite YouTubers. (I'm trying to find a clever way to write this, and I feel like I'm dying.) Historical slang in the English language mostly comes from 18th-century England. Which, oh boy. will start off with this. After a bender, this Frenchified Dasher took a flourish with their tool and tried to ice me. To anyone who knows more modern slang, this would be a mugging or attempted murder, but translate it into 18th-century English slang, and it would be. "I paid a sixpence to a flashy hooker with venereal disease for a quickie who turned out to have male genitalia and attempted to fart on me."  

    There was also slang for alcohol, like Hearts Ease, Stripe Naked, Diddle, Crank, Max, Lightning, which all mean Gin. If someone from 18th-century England asks you for spanks, they're just asking you for money. They also say they're going to go suck the monkey, and no, it's not sexual; it's the practice of secretly sucking alcohol out of a barrel with a straw, and, funnily enough, a lot of people died from sucking the monkey. Now, what should you walk away with from this? While Gen Alpha slang is bad, it could be much, much worse 

https://youtu.be/HW2Y45Jigc0?si=XaiRvO1_m7D3o6zd

Coca Cola 

     Coca-Cola all started with a wounded morphine addicted ex confederate soldier named John Stith Pemberton, ahh, so many red flags. The inspiration for him was a French drink known as Vin Mariani. What was its special ingredient? Why cocaine, of course, silly.  He liked it because it "helped" him with his morphine addiction.  He wanted to sell some cocaine wine himself. to get around the French patent, he put in some cola nuts for a caffeinated boost. This first product was called Pemberton's French wine coca with a marketing focus on "The great and sure remedy for all nervous disorders," and, ahh, cause its America, even children got blasted off of Pemberton's cocaine wine, but he only recommended half the dose for children, got to love capitalism. Some cities, like Atlanta, banned it shortly after its debut in 1885. The temperance movement also caused problems. But not to worry, shortly after Pemberton swapped out the problematic alcohol with a crap load of sugar, and thus the American staple was born. 

    In more modern times, no one understands the importance of marketing and propaganda like soda companies. Coca-Cola spends upwards of 5 billion dollars a year on marketing. And while the winey know-it-all scientist and researchers talk about how soda consumption is linked to higher glucose and obesity, soda companies face a unique challenge of getting people to consume their Crack. They learned the best way to inform was to misinform, so why don't they just hire scientists and researchers of their own? And no they can't undermine scientific research, but they can underline how much money they're giving to it. Coca-Cola alone has done many very bad things knowingly to their consumers, animal science, and overall health. If you want more stories, watch the video. But to conclude, always, always check who funds the research; these companies don't have your best interests in mind, just profit margins, no matter the harmful impacts those margins cause. 

https://youtu.be/-yYnPyKDD9o?si=0_pPJ2OfReE87RFo